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By B.L. Ochman

But sales were up 80%!

Amazon promised that #AmazonPrimeDay, July 15, would have “more deals than Black Friday.” Alas, it didn’t turn out that way and shoppers took to social media to complain, with hashtags including #PrimeDayFail, that the deals were more like a bad garage sale.

The bargains were few and many of the deals were downright weird. But the weirdest one of all has to be the giant blue 55 gallon drum of All Natural Passion Lube.

No, it’s not from The Onion

Amazon Passion LubeHere’s the product description:

“What are you going to do with all this lube?! Wrestling match? Biggest adult party ever? If you are looking for a simply jaw-dropping amount of lube, Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant is ready to get the fun started with this 55 gallon drum! With its superb formula you will have a natural feel that keeps you moist longer and also works great with all toy materials. Easily washes away with warm water and mild soap. You may never run out of lube again! Size: 55 gallons. Note: Includes pump. Ships via freight due to weight limit.”

The original price was $2500, but for #PrimeDay, you could get a deal:
Sale: $1,361.80 ($1,361.80 / Count) & FREE Shipping
You Save: $1,138.20 (46%)

The makings of a party

Oh, and Amazon so helpfully noted that customers who viewed Passion Lube also viewed a 40lb case of dehydrated marshmallows and a Men’s Male Oldie Vinyl Mask. There’s the makings of a party, if ever there was one.

As Mashable reported, #PrimeDay also offered Chef’s Hats, granny panties, beard growers and snore cures.

Then there was LURE home Lip Plumper and Wrinkle Reducer. Prime members could save 40% off the list price and fatten their lips for a mere $14.97.

“Use The Ancient Secret of Vacuum Cupping to Quickly & Easily Plump Up Your Lips in Minutes!” the product page excitedly promises. “Non-Invasive with Effects Lasting for up to Several Hours!”

Despite complaints, sales soared

According to Forbes, Adobe tracked social mentions of “Amazon Prinme Day and “As of 1 p.m. EST, 10 hours into the sale, “Amazon Prime Day” had been mentioned 90,000 times on social networks, with more than 50% of sentiment related to “sadness.”

Disgruntled shoppers complained loudly, and often hilariously, that deals were boring, savings were minor and anything worth having was sold out. Unless you wanted a XXL Diane Keaton Tshirt, Adam Sandler DVDs, socks, or chef hats.

Nonetheless, TechCrunch reports that Amazon sales for the day were up 80% in the US and 40% in Europe. And Amazon claimed early in the day that its “Prime Day” peak order rates passed that of 2014’s Black Friday. Around mid-day, the company said that Prime members had already bought tens of thousands of Fire TV Sticks, 35,000 Lord of the Rings Blu-Ray sets, 28,000 Rubbermaid sets, and 4,000 Echo devices in just 15 minutes. A Kate Spade purse was gone in less than a minute, and it sold 1,200 of the $999 TVs in less than 10 minutes.

Go figure!