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PETA has some serious, and useful messages, but for some weird reason they once again seem hellbent on ruining Santa’s night.

As if Christmas isn’t going to be stressful enough for most people this year, PETA suggests that you leave soy milk and vegan carob chip cookies for Santa.

“You won’t be doing Santa any favors by leaving him a glass of milk on Christmas Eve,” PETA insists. “Cow’s milk is meant for calves. It’s designed for them to grow four stomachs and weigh 300 pounds within a year.”

That won’t be as hard to explain to your kids as PETA’s earlier claim that milk would make Santa impotent. “Hey, kids!” the site said, (you really can’t make this stuff up!) “Is the milk that you’re leaving out for Santa sending his “North Pole” south? It could be that “Jolly Old Saint Nick” can’t get his jollies because milk is bringing him down.”

So maybe this year, lace Santa’s soy milk with a little Viagra. Thanks for the tip PETA!