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horseass.jpgI’m going to take out the names, because, really, I don’t want to hurt these people. But really, this is the world’s worst PR pitch.

What I want is for PR people to – please, please – read this and laugh, and then never send out a pitch that remotely resembles this.

Don’t Beg, don’t bribe

I received this one twice. I responded the first time by saying that advertising on What’s Next Blog is handled by And then, a few days later, this horse’s ass sent the same email to me again. Its ridiculousness speaks for itself.

Hey there, [as in, I can’t be bothered with your name]

I came across your website the other day and would like to talk to you about a grass roots campaign I’m working on right now for [name removed] TV, the home of the [major sports league involving pucks.] The bottom line is we’re trying to find companies to advertise on [blank] during the [major sport] playoffs, so what we are trying to do is find blogs, groups, forums, or other media websites to write an article or place a banner that links back to [blank] ad sales page on their website. We’re trying to advertise that companies should advertise on [blank], basically, so you can see where-in lies the challenge.

Do you think you could help us by doing a small write or host a banner? If you can post something online we have some great gifts from [blank] Sports for our partners. [aha, a bribe.]

Please, Please…

Honestly we’re just looking for a small blurb saying something to the affect [sic] that, during the [major sport] playoffs advertisers will really get more bang for their buck because of the increased viewership created by the once a season, [major sports] event, with a link back to http://www.[blank].com. Or simply hosting a banner. [English doesn’t appear to be this flak’s first language.]

If you could help us out that would be great!

Let me know what you think. [here ya go, Ace.]
Thanks for your time and have a great day.
name removed to protect the moronic.

I’ve written a lot of posts on Press Releases From Hell, and PR Cluelessness. And I have sold many thousands of copies of Press Releases From Hell and How to Fix Them. [blank] might want to read that.