I published this on Sept 11, 2006. It’s still the strongest memory, and the biggest regret.
By B.L. Ochman
The time from when the first plane hit, until the first building fell is clear to me as if it happened this morning. But, besides my sensory memory, I don’t remember anything about the hours between the collapse of the first building and the time I was brought to a hospital in New Jersey.
At the end of the day, I had a woman’s slip, and no idea how I got it.
I was sick with pneumonia and mercury poisoning, and still dazed when, a couple of weeks later, I threw the slip away, still not sure how it ended up in my backpack.
Then one day, came the memory of reaching up to catch a slip – silk, I think – that floated right into my upstretched hands after it was blown off a woman as she jumped from the flaming tower three blocks north.
But it occurred to me yesterday, when I saw this plaque on a bench on Central Park, that, maybe, if I’d saved that slip, one of the families would have had something that belonged to their dead sister, wife, or daughter.
I apologize to that woman’s family.
Fragments of my lost memory have returned in flashbacks brought on by certain sounds, or smells, or days with a bright blue cloudless sky, like today. Five years later, I still have the World Trade Center cough to remind me, as if ever I’d forget. And I don’t really want the rest of that morning’s memories back. But, oh, how I wish I’d saved that slip.
You, Sammy and Benny have been in my thoughts today. You are brave and strong to share parts of your story with us all, BL. Thank you. Enjoy that this day is a gorgeous one with, hopefully, many, many more to follow.
BL, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today. It’s a rare insight earned by the tragedy you have experienced…
And a poignant reminder that in the world of Big Things and upheavals, it is still the ‘little’ things that means most.
Thank you and take care.
… that was a very haunting, VERY meaningful remembrance …. one of the millions of painful reminders why i won’t ever forget or lose vigilance …
Hello there, BL
I remember so well your postings about the disaster in the days that followed, with your graphic descriptions of the horrors on the day and in the days that followed. Maybe you cannot bear to go back and revisit those memories in too much detail, but it could be good on each anniversary to re-publish a paragraph or two just so that devastating attack which shook the world is not forgotten.
What is it they say? “The devil is in the detail”.
Keep looking forward – but never forget. It was a day of war and needs to be remembered.
All good wishes to you…
Jane
Thanks Jane. You’re right, it’s really hard to re-visit those memories in detail. But i think picking up something from posts at the time is a good remembrance and will do so next year.
BL