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love_birds.jpgThe last time I saw a crowd around a tree in Central park they were trying to help a bird whose nest had fallen out of a tree. So I was kind of surprised when the birds in a tree yesterday were loonies.
Cops were trying to talk down a hysterical, nearly naked 17 year-old boy and his 32 year-old pre-operative transsexual who were “performing a sex act” on a tree branch about 50 feet above the ground.
The teenager said he was protesting the fact that his mother didn’t approve of his relationship. “I want my mother and my psychologist,” he yelled. And his soon-to-be-girl friend demanded a vanilla diet Pepsi. When cops sent up a Coke, he threw it down, yelling “What I say goes.”
The standoff went from 4:30 to about 8:30 p.m., when the lovebirds voluntarily came down and embraced as onlookers cheered. They were then immediately carted off for psychiatric observation.
“We don’t get this back home,” said Elise Gaillard, 21, a tourist from Adelaide, Australia. “Crazy Americans.”