Know anyone with 2,514 friends? If you do, you are probably connected to him or her on Facebook, or Twitter. And that person is probably a bit promiscuous with the “confirm” button.
I don’t think the nature of friendship is changing because of the Internet. But the nature of conversation, which often leads to friendships, has definitely been evolving and the change is positive.
I just saw the Whitney Museum’s exhibit about Summer of Love, and it’s clear that the Internet is no 60s Love-In. But it’s got a lot in common with the days when people viewed total strangers as brothers and sisters.
What I do think has changed is the definition of conversation. I have had daily conversations for years with three or four different people whom I “met” when they responded to an article I wrote or we both commented in a forum and took a conversation into email.
Some of us have broken bread together, some of us have not. We’ve spoken on the phone, but not met in person. I consider these people to be among my close friends, and we have shared many details of our lives and some really good laughs over the past 10 years.
Friendships develop when people contribute interesting content over time, when they share links that are helpful or fun, and when we engage in actual conversation. And kindred spirits recognize each other no matter what the medium – that’s the special sauce of friendship, and that’s not changing.
I am happy to meet people through social networks, but they’re not friends just because I met them online, any more than everyone who reads my blog is a friend. (Although I have formed some amazing friendships with readers.)
I will continue to be selective about whose friendship requests I confirm, and open to the friendships that can develop with the people who sound interesting. We sure do live in interesting times.
There’s been some interesting discussion taking place in blogs and on Twitter about how social networks and blogs affect friendships. Steve Rubel, Stowe Boyd, both of whom I’ve met in person as a result of the Internet, and Anne Truitt Zelenka have all written interesting posts, from different points of view.
What do you think about online friendships?
I wrote up my opinion on the whole thing here http://www.winextra.com/2007/08/28/the-devaluation-of-friendship/
How interesting – I read Anne Truitt Zelenka’s post this morning, and now I’ve found yours.
My on-line friendships are precious to me. I read this line in your article – “it’s got a lot in common with the days when people viewed total strangers as brothers and sisters” – and found myself smiling and nodding in agreement.
I’ve spoken on the phone with some of my on-line friends; others are purely on-line buddies. We share information, provide support during rough times (and cheers when things go well), and give each other a sounding board for new ideas. When my mom died (which I noted in my blog), I was touched by the response from on-line friends and acquaintances.
thanks for being our friend:)
These cyber or online “relationships” we have are interesting. I feel I “know” almost as many people online as I do offline, in the real world.
While, from what I do know of many of these people, I’m sure I’d like them offline as well, but I don’t really know most of them. However, since human nature is to give the benefit of doubt, I do count these people in a special “online friends” category. (Sorry for all the “””””””.)
Like anything, we have to be careful of who we socialize with — online and offline.
As you noted, B.L., “kindred spirits recognize each other no matter what the medium.” And, blogs and the like simply allow more opportunity for kindred spirits to find each other.
We just have to be careful not to go crazy over all the “friends” we think we have.
— Mike
After being a stay at home mom for 14 years and finally heading back into the workplace, I welcome the online friends I have made.
To be able to network and support while being productive at the same time beats playgroup and McDonalds any day.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom but my brain has missed the intellectual interaction and the internet makes it more possible than ever.
This is an interesting topic. Your post made me think of a blog post I read elsewhere earlier about the shift in consumer behaviour, from being retailer-led to more consumer-led, with the empahasis on the customer getting what they want rather than being persuaded by a company into buying something.
This shift can be seen in the rise of ‘social shopping’ sites (eg http://www.crowdstorm.com). I was reminded of this while reading your post because it seems to me to be another way the internet has changed the way we communicate with others: large scale communities of people we don’t know affecting the things we do definitely has parallels with the large social networking sites.
Great blog!
What a heartwarming post. I really enjoyed reading it. I agree with you. Internet friendships are special. They allow those who may not have the opportunity to meet in person communicate and bond on a level that extends physical boundaries.
Through the internet, social networks, and even a little grammar error I have met people who continue to make me a better person in both my business and my personal life.