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To relieve women of dreadful messy, noisy snack foods, Pepsi Co, parent company of Doritos, plans to introduce Lady-Friendly Doritos. The new chips will be quieter and less messy. Wait! What?!

The new sexist snacks certainly are a change of pace from Doritos racy 2012 Super Bowl ad. But then again, we live in strange times.

Sexist Lady Friendly Doritos Will Make Less Noise

Lady-friendly Doritos will be smaller and they’ll “make less of a crunch noise.” While they’ll surely cost as much as manly Doritos, they’ll come in a packet “specifically designed to fit inside a handbag,” PepsiCo C.E.O. Indra Nooyi told Freakonomics Radio.

Nooyi says Lady-Friendly Doritos and similar products that are in the works are based on research showing that men and women eat chips differently.

Women Would Love To…But They Don’t

“As you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. … Women I think would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.”

Lady chips will be joining Bic For Her, Schick’s razor with boobs, #beerforher.