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By B.L. Ochman
Google is making a play for enterprise domination, hoping businesses will consolidate their email, transactions, documents, records, videos, phone service, advertising, photos, mobile apps and social networks into Google products.

Great idea. The missing link? Customer service: Google has none.

Want to contact a live human being at Google? Best of luck to you baby!

And lest you think Google servers never go down, or that Google is completely secure, think about the 150,000 gmail accounts that were vanished in Feb. 2011.

Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters? Go find a phone number on a Google site and share it with us all please.

Google is launching paid gMail for business and nowhere among the promises is there one about great customer service.

Tom Crandall at SEM Report Card said, on a post that got 730 comments, mostly from exasperated Google users:
Take the promptness of a doctor’s office, the incompetence of a DMV, and the worst customer service experience you have ever had with a phone company and multiply it by 500 = Google Customer Service.

That’s the epic fail that will keep Google from meeting its goals, and that should be scaring enterprise away from converting to Google APPS.

Google’s new Apps for Business cost $50 per user per year. Here’s the Google Cloud Calculator that explains what your company will get for $50 per user. Type in your company name. Learn about the services your money will buy. Note that nowhere is there a promise or even a mention of great customer service. Or any customer service.

o Your gmail is down? Or corrupted, or hacked? Tough
o Your video taken down from YouTube because of some mysterious “violation?” Tough
o You need help migrating your Google accounts to the new Google APPS? Tough.

Google has no phone number you can call. No human being you can speak to. Nobody. No one. No available humans.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.