This is the World's Worst PR Pitch

I'm going to take out the names, because, really, I don't want to hurt these people.

What I want is for PR people to - please, please - read this and laugh, and then never send out a pitch that remotely resembles this.

I received this one twice. I responded the first time by saying that advertising on What's Next Blog is handled by Blogads.com. And then, a few days later, this horse's ass sent the same email to me again. Its ridiculousness speaks for itself.

Hey there, [as in, I can't be bothered with your name]

I came across your website the other day and would like to talk to you about a grass roots campaign I’m working on right now for [name removed] TV, the home of the [major sports league involving pucks.] The bottom line is we’re trying to find companies to advertise on [blank] during the [major sport] playoffs, so what we are trying to do is find blogs, groups, forums, or other media websites to write an article or place a banner that links back to [blank] ad sales page on their website. We’re trying to advertise that companies should advertise on [blank], basically, so you can see where-in lies the challenge.

Do you think you could help us by doing a small write or host a banner? If you can post something online we have some great gifts from [blank] Sports for our partners. [aha, a bribe.]

Honestly we’re just looking for a small blurb saying something to the affect [sic] that, during the [major sport] playoffs advertisers will really get more bang for their buck because of the increased viewership created by the once a season, [major sports] event, with a link back to http://www.[blank].com. Or simply hosting a banner. [English doesn't appear to be this flak's first language.]

If you could help us out that would be great!

Let me know what you think. [here ya go, Ace.]

Thanks for your time and have a great day.
name removed to protect the moronic.

B.L. - That was painful to read. So very painful.

That seems more a cross between a PR pitch and an advertising enquirey.

Still, it's not great at either. I don't think it's the worse pr pitch ever, the bad pitch blog has some brilliant ones.

Truly bad. But I think I'm in the running for the worst. http://strivepr.com/wordpress/2008/04/18/laughably-bad-pitch/

This a great lesson for us PR people. Thank you.

Maybe a story idea would have gone over better: funniest blog comments or blogs from one of their hockey games, or a clip of a yucky fight or something amusing. Anything but this.

It's possible the poor (probably young)professional got marching orders from up top, rushed and didn't think it through because it was due yesterday. Plus, game attendance is probably down. Lessons like these are the best to learn, which is why I'm going to be more selective and thoughtful with my comments and future pitches. :)