Will the Stones Give NFL Their 19th Nervous Breakdown? I Sure Hope So!

In light of an internationally reported embarrassing story that fans who wanted to be part of the Rolling Stones' on-site NFL half-time audience would have to prove they were under 45, the NFL has announced that older fans will be able to shake their groove thing on TV after all. "We wanted to open it up," NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said. Yeah, right.

The ban would have made the Stones, whose combined age is 245, too old to attend their own gig. I'm sure they're laughing all the way to the bank.

Hard to imagine this ageist lunacy was even considered when you see how the Stones are described in the media:
"the ageing [sic] rockers", "elderly rock'n'roll legends", "the craggy-faced Stones", "wizened rockers", "four dried-apple dolls", "the bad boys are looking old", and " the practically septuagenarian rockers."

Oh Come on Mick! Be Really, Really Bad!
NFL executive Charles Coplin told The Globe & Mail that the NFL is "not certain what the Stones will perform during their 12 minutes onstage" in front of 90 million viewers. "We have a lot of conversations with them," he said. "We try and convince them to perform in a way that will make them look great and appreciate the fact that the audience is so large." I'd be running for the shelter of mother's little helper if I were him.

Hey, Mr. Coplin, "you can't always get what you want... but you get what you need."

What America Needs Now
I'm sure the NFL is counting on the Stones not give them their 19th nervous breakdown by deciding to ride a huge inflatable penis while singing "Sympathy for the Devil" or singing the anti-Bush "Sweet Neo Con" off the latest album.

But it would be a freaking riot if they did.Things are too damn serious these days. What this country needs now is some good old-fashioned bad boy rock and roll. And Mick is just the right old fart to deliver it. Sure would be more interesting than Janet Jackson's boob.

What have the Stones got to lose? It's not like they need more money, or fame. But pulling a stunt like that would ensure them a young audience til long after they're dead.

I'm counting on you to show us that you can still be anti-establishment and really wild Mick!

Don't let me down!

Technorati Tags:
Super+Bowl+Half-time+show, What's Next Blog, Mick Jagger, BL Ochman

Comments

Posted by: Ian O'Neill at January 19, 2006 9:27 PM

Posted by: BL at January 19, 2006 11:49 PM

Posted by: Donna Tocci at January 20, 2006 10:00 AM

Posted by: Debra Condren at January 20, 2006 6:23 PM

Posted by: rickey gold at January 20, 2006 8:37 PM

Post a comment

Email this story to a friend

TrackBacks

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.whatsnextonline.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/2875

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Will the Stones Give NFL Their 19th Nervous Breakdown? I Sure Hope So!:

Wanted: Jagger On Inflatable Penis During Super Bowl Half-Time from Adrants
Commenting on the initial requirement that the Super Bowl Rolling Stones half-time show crowd would have to be under 45, well under the age of ever Rolling Stone member, and the subsequent lifting of that requirement, BL Ochman hopes... [Read More]

Tracked on January 19, 2006 5:04 PM