Will the Stones Give NFL Their 19th Nervous Breakdown? I Sure Hope So!

In light of an internationally reported embarrassing story that fans who wanted to be part of the Rolling Stones' on-site NFL half-time audience would have to prove they were under 45, the NFL has announced that older fans will be able to shake their groove thing on TV after all. "We wanted to open it up," NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said. Yeah, right.

The ban would have made the Stones, whose combined age is 245, too old to attend their own gig. I'm sure they're laughing all the way to the bank.

Hard to imagine this ageist lunacy was even considered when you see how the Stones are described in the media:
"the ageing [sic] rockers", "elderly rock'n'roll legends", "the craggy-faced Stones", "wizened rockers", "four dried-apple dolls", "the bad boys are looking old", and " the practically septuagenarian rockers."

Oh Come on Mick! Be Really, Really Bad!
NFL executive Charles Coplin told The Globe & Mail that the NFL is "not certain what the Stones will perform during their 12 minutes onstage" in front of 90 million viewers. "We have a lot of conversations with them," he said. "We try and convince them to perform in a way that will make them look great and appreciate the fact that the audience is so large." I'd be running for the shelter of mother's little helper if I were him.

Hey, Mr. Coplin, "you can't always get what you want... but you get what you need."

What America Needs Now
I'm sure the NFL is counting on the Stones not give them their 19th nervous breakdown by deciding to ride a huge inflatable penis while singing "Sympathy for the Devil" or singing the anti-Bush "Sweet Neo Con" off the latest album.

But it would be a freaking riot if they did.Things are too damn serious these days. What this country needs now is some good old-fashioned bad boy rock and roll. And Mick is just the right old fart to deliver it. Sure would be more interesting than Janet Jackson's boob.

What have the Stones got to lose? It's not like they need more money, or fame. But pulling a stunt like that would ensure them a young audience til long after they're dead.

I'm counting on you to show us that you can still be anti-establishment and really wild Mick!

Don't let me down!

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Is that Mick's real hair?

God, I hope so. I was wondering if that was his real face.

The NFL asked for people under 45 because they'd need to stand for a long time during rehersals. Like people who are 50 can't stand up? Yikes! 'Cause I think Mick and the boys are probably standing for that whole time....
I wasn't that interested in the show this year, but now I'm might just have to watch at least the half-time portion just to see if 'the boys' act a little feisty. I'm with you...let's hope so!
Happy Weekend to you and Benny.

I am 44.999 and have no trouble standing. Does that mean I qualify? Debra Condren www.womensbizalliance.org

The group has definitely cleaned up their act. At least they did when they performed here (Chicago) in September. They actually put on a family-friendly show. Dressed. Even Lisa Fisher was covered up.You could have brought your kids (some did). But they still put on a helluva show. Charlie Watts may be sitting but the rest of them are up the whole time. And Mick runs around the stage -- and up and down ramps -- more than most 30 year olds I know. I'd be surprised if they're bad boys during half-time. I think you'll see an Angel (or three).