First 2006 PR Pitch From Hell, a Mere 1181 Words

The first email pitch from hell for 2006 arrived today:

[First_Name],

I thought you might be interested in a new study out today showing that consumer satisfaction with virtually all of the top 40 retail websites has dropped over the holiday season. This news comes from a study done by ForeSee Results and FGI Research called the Top 40 Online Retail Satisfaction Index.

My favorite sentence:
High satisfaction scores—how happy people are with all aspects of the online experience when they visit a site—have been proven to correlate directly and tightly to likelihood to return, recommend, and buy. Who'd have thunk it!

Well, of course [publicist] who wouldn't be interested in every one of the 1181 words in your email pitch! Thanks so much for the contact!

That's a pitch? It's more like someone distributing a story/news release -- and a wordy one at that!

1181 words.

I'm speechless.
Mike

BL,

All I can say is that I'm glad I haven't fully crossed over to the recipient side of inane PR pitches.

Smile,

Peter

Yeah, It's like a script on our local news. But it's nice of them to contact.

It same a script. 1181 words, just a short story.