Andy Borowitz: White House Response Shocker

Bush Promises Iraqi People Vigorous New Attack Ads

Speaking to the Iraqi people last night, President Bush vowed that he would respond to the Iraqi prison scandal with a vigorous new round of campaign ads attacking Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass).

ìIn a democracy, it is important to have transparency, and there is no one more transparent than I am,î Mr. Bush said.

Mr. Bush promised the Iraqis that he would spare no expense in producing the new attack ads and said that the abuse of Iraqi prisoners had raised fresh questions about Sen. Kerryís Vietnam War record.

ìAs you saw the abhorrent images from Abu Ghraib prison, Iím sure that you were asking yourselves the same question I was: why did John Kerry throw away his war medals?î Mr. Bush said.

The speech to the Iraqi people culminated a busy day for Mr. Bush, who earlier in the evening announced that the U.S. had invaded Michael Moore.

Source: Borowitz Report

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